A tough goodbye...

Last night I got an official notice to stop teaching 3rd standard kids and be a co-teacher with Pranitha for 2nd standard. On one side was this relief that I will be with another TFI fellow and it would be teamwork at play for 45+ tiny kids, but on the other hand I was feeling hollow that I am no longer going to teach the 3rd graders who just in 3 days showed so much of improvement. Thanks to all the strategies that TFI taught us, these kids had started behaving well and showing interest in everything I had to say in class. On my second day of teaching, a kid actually came up to me at the end of class and said "Didi do you take tutions? How much money will you take? I want to learn from you!". I was speechless. I could not understand what miracle did I do for him to ask such a thing on just the second day? Or was it simply that I was not being like their other teachers who beat them and follow conventional methods of teaching, for whom teaching is a way to earn livelihood and not impart true knowledge? I knew these kids got attached to me in just 3 days and so was I. But I had to accept it...Today morning I had to say goodbye to them. I heard kids shouting "Didi please don't go, didi we don't want any other teacher"...I knew I would burst out into tears if I stood there any longer...so I told them I have to leave and I will see them when I have time. I spent my day teaching 2nd standard but I was constantly missing my 3rd graders. Some 3rd graders kept coming in my new classroom and requesting me to come back. Every time I passed by the corridor I could hear screams from the windows "didi aaaoo na please!"...two kids drew pictures and gifted it to me at the end of school. One of them asked if I would at least be coming to the school everyday and not leaving the school too! It was tough to say goodbye...very tough...I still cannot stop missing them...I am feeling bad that on thier first day of school I told them we will learn a lot and have lots of fun too...But it is no longer in my hands to keep up to my words :(

My first day of school...

Today was my first day of school. I started my day early at around 5.15 am. I had to reach school before 7 am. When I reached school I had this sinking feeling. The rest of the teachers were giving me alien looks. I stood at the assembly just like the many k.g. kids who came to school for the first time. I was extremely nervous. I was desperately waiting for Pranitha, another Teach For India(TFI) fellow who was supposed to teach std. 2 (I was allotted std. 3). I was so relieved when I saw Pranitha walking in. After assembly I went in my classroom which had only 13 kids today and around a 27 were absent! Interacting with these 3rd graders brought to light that although they belonged to an English medium school they could not speak one complete sentence correctly. They were responding either in Marathi or Hindi. I could actually see the depth of the challenge I have to overcome with these kids and pull them to the level of English they should be at.
English aside, there came another shocker! The government supplies free text books to these kids. But all that my classroom got were sets of History and Geography texts. My kids did not get English, Math and General Science texts. I still need to find a way out - either go to the roots of where did these texts disappear or find donors so that I don't lose out on time; the later being a logical solution for now as I cannot get into the systems right from day one...I need to observe what all is going on first.
As the day proceeded, I was suddenly called by the principal and was asked to teach std. 4 instead of std. 3 due to some xyz reasons. After some discussion, I continued with my 3rd graders but I do not know what is going to happen tomorrow. Pranitha was in the classroom next to me. I really wanted a TFI person to know what was going on with me. And there was Pranitha, facing her set of challenges. She was in a classroom where both 1st and 2nd graders were put together with their respective teachers. Apparently there were no sufficient number of classrooms available so she had to share it with another teacher!
In short, like what last year's TFI fellow Sahil said, I too experienced my first roller coaster fall today. For a second compare our childhood with these kids...We had our own books, our own teacher, our own classroom...And here are these kids fighting for basic education from day one of school...Fighting for a classroom, fighting for books, fighting for their own teacher...It was all a big pain to see it happen and not being able to do much about it...All I know is I cannot fall apart. Though the misery is making me choke right now, I always knew it was not going to be easy. It was my first test today...I may have failed but I have to move on and fight. I will stick it out! I will do all that I can for these kids...I may not be able to change the world but I can do my little for these little kids.
I wouldn't say it was an all bad bad day though. The good part is, the principal and other staff is quite friendly. The alien looks which were given to me in the morning turned into comfortable talks over break time and sweet goodbyes towards the end of the day...Here's hoping tomorrow to be better than today...Its going to be another day, another chance!

All geared up...

5 weeks of rigorous training...summer school, lesson planning clinics, child development sessions, classroom management sessions, behaviour management sessions, math and language strategies, art and theatre workshops, data tracking and analysis, leadership forums and a lot lot more!! It was a total bombardment of information every minute. I worked my butt out for more than 18 hours a day at institute. But the best thing is I was not cribbing about it at all. For the first time in my life I experienced the joy of having a satisfied sleep every night even after slogging so hard.
Post institute I feel more connected to the Teach For India (www.teachforindia.org) movement. I feel more proud to be a part of this movement. I feel more responsible. I feel happier than I ever was. I also know it is not going to be a cakewalk. I am going to face a new challenge and a new hurdle everyday. But I am all geared up! All geared up to teach my set of 40 kids at a PMC school in Wadgaon Budruk from June 14th. Wish me luck guys :)