A tough goodbye...

Last night I got an official notice to stop teaching 3rd standard kids and be a co-teacher with Pranitha for 2nd standard. On one side was this relief that I will be with another TFI fellow and it would be teamwork at play for 45+ tiny kids, but on the other hand I was feeling hollow that I am no longer going to teach the 3rd graders who just in 3 days showed so much of improvement. Thanks to all the strategies that TFI taught us, these kids had started behaving well and showing interest in everything I had to say in class. On my second day of teaching, a kid actually came up to me at the end of class and said "Didi do you take tutions? How much money will you take? I want to learn from you!". I was speechless. I could not understand what miracle did I do for him to ask such a thing on just the second day? Or was it simply that I was not being like their other teachers who beat them and follow conventional methods of teaching, for whom teaching is a way to earn livelihood and not impart true knowledge? I knew these kids got attached to me in just 3 days and so was I. But I had to accept it...Today morning I had to say goodbye to them. I heard kids shouting "Didi please don't go, didi we don't want any other teacher"...I knew I would burst out into tears if I stood there any longer...so I told them I have to leave and I will see them when I have time. I spent my day teaching 2nd standard but I was constantly missing my 3rd graders. Some 3rd graders kept coming in my new classroom and requesting me to come back. Every time I passed by the corridor I could hear screams from the windows "didi aaaoo na please!"...two kids drew pictures and gifted it to me at the end of school. One of them asked if I would at least be coming to the school everyday and not leaving the school too! It was tough to say goodbye...very tough...I still cannot stop missing them...I am feeling bad that on thier first day of school I told them we will learn a lot and have lots of fun too...But it is no longer in my hands to keep up to my words :(

My first day of school...

Today was my first day of school. I started my day early at around 5.15 am. I had to reach school before 7 am. When I reached school I had this sinking feeling. The rest of the teachers were giving me alien looks. I stood at the assembly just like the many k.g. kids who came to school for the first time. I was extremely nervous. I was desperately waiting for Pranitha, another Teach For India(TFI) fellow who was supposed to teach std. 2 (I was allotted std. 3). I was so relieved when I saw Pranitha walking in. After assembly I went in my classroom which had only 13 kids today and around a 27 were absent! Interacting with these 3rd graders brought to light that although they belonged to an English medium school they could not speak one complete sentence correctly. They were responding either in Marathi or Hindi. I could actually see the depth of the challenge I have to overcome with these kids and pull them to the level of English they should be at.
English aside, there came another shocker! The government supplies free text books to these kids. But all that my classroom got were sets of History and Geography texts. My kids did not get English, Math and General Science texts. I still need to find a way out - either go to the roots of where did these texts disappear or find donors so that I don't lose out on time; the later being a logical solution for now as I cannot get into the systems right from day one...I need to observe what all is going on first.
As the day proceeded, I was suddenly called by the principal and was asked to teach std. 4 instead of std. 3 due to some xyz reasons. After some discussion, I continued with my 3rd graders but I do not know what is going to happen tomorrow. Pranitha was in the classroom next to me. I really wanted a TFI person to know what was going on with me. And there was Pranitha, facing her set of challenges. She was in a classroom where both 1st and 2nd graders were put together with their respective teachers. Apparently there were no sufficient number of classrooms available so she had to share it with another teacher!
In short, like what last year's TFI fellow Sahil said, I too experienced my first roller coaster fall today. For a second compare our childhood with these kids...We had our own books, our own teacher, our own classroom...And here are these kids fighting for basic education from day one of school...Fighting for a classroom, fighting for books, fighting for their own teacher...It was all a big pain to see it happen and not being able to do much about it...All I know is I cannot fall apart. Though the misery is making me choke right now, I always knew it was not going to be easy. It was my first test today...I may have failed but I have to move on and fight. I will stick it out! I will do all that I can for these kids...I may not be able to change the world but I can do my little for these little kids.
I wouldn't say it was an all bad bad day though. The good part is, the principal and other staff is quite friendly. The alien looks which were given to me in the morning turned into comfortable talks over break time and sweet goodbyes towards the end of the day...Here's hoping tomorrow to be better than today...Its going to be another day, another chance!

All geared up...

5 weeks of rigorous training...summer school, lesson planning clinics, child development sessions, classroom management sessions, behaviour management sessions, math and language strategies, art and theatre workshops, data tracking and analysis, leadership forums and a lot lot more!! It was a total bombardment of information every minute. I worked my butt out for more than 18 hours a day at institute. But the best thing is I was not cribbing about it at all. For the first time in my life I experienced the joy of having a satisfied sleep every night even after slogging so hard.
Post institute I feel more connected to the Teach For India (www.teachforindia.org) movement. I feel more proud to be a part of this movement. I feel more responsible. I feel happier than I ever was. I also know it is not going to be a cakewalk. I am going to face a new challenge and a new hurdle everyday. But I am all geared up! All geared up to teach my set of 40 kids at a PMC school in Wadgaon Budruk from June 14th. Wish me luck guys :)

Kids teach us...

I would be wrong if I said I am teaching kids. Its actually the other way round. Kids teach us every moment. They fight and become friends the very next moment. I wonder what happens to us as we grow up? And we call ourselves adults (when we hold grudges against people for lifetimes) ? Why does the innocence die out with time? A small incidence day before got a lump in my throat. I taught kids how to identify 2D shapes. And as a check for understanding, during break time I was giving out marie biscuits, krack jack biscuits, parle g and bingo mad angles to everyone after they identified the shapes. The kids were real excited and were enjoying eating the different shapes when a girl called Nusrat caught my eye. I saw that she had eaten only a tiny bit of the mad angle and was wrapping up the remaining in a piece of paper. When I asked her, didn't you like the taste? She said didi it is really nice! And I want my sister to taste it too! I was so touched...This little girl who probably ate mad angles for the first time in her life, loved it so much that she wanted her sister to have it too and she was so happy about it! This little girl taught me it is not so difficult to be happy in life. You just need to look around. Stop cribbing about what you don't have. Appreciate and love what you have. No! I am not giving any gyan. Just do it for once. You'll know how fortunate you are...This tiny girl showed me a mirror to how fortunate I am. And it gives me all the more reasons to ponder upon what am I doing after being so fortunate? What are we all doing???

Little joys to share...

I had never thought that one of my greatest joys would be when a kid in my class who as per record is in the 3rd standard but actually is at the level of standard 1st; would get his first correct carry over addition problem after being explained over and over again! I had never thought that one of my greatest joys would be when two of my kids from class would come up to me on their own and ask me for homework out of curiosity to learn more! I had never thought that one of my greatest joys would be when three of the kids in class would raise their hands and call me at their desk just to say "didi you are so so nice!" And there are more of these little little instances that I don't remember now...I now know the joy of being in the moment and giving your 100%...and when you give your 100% to something you never feel bad for falling flat on your face...you just get up and try harder!
I don't think I have worked harder in my life. And if you think teaching is easy, I dare you to handle my class successfully for a day without pulling your hair out! You'll see kids popping out of their seats, walking around as if the classroom was a playground, you'll see kids poking and hitting each other, some want to constantly go to the loo, someone pretends he has a stomach ache so that he gets to go home, someone wants personal attention, someone just wouldn't speak up as if I were talking to the wall, someone knows not a word of English in spite of being in 3rd standard in an English medium school, someone loves to sit under the desk, someone loves to constantly tap pencil on the desk, someone has family troubles etc. etc....well there are some smart kids around too. Averagely, the attention span of these kids is 8 minutes. I constantly need to do something to grab their attention; and I am working towards it everyday. And I need to be loving and stern at the same time. It may not sound very appealing to many. Teaching, I believe is not a respected job. Its strange how everyone wants to be educated but the moment you tell them you teach primary kids they have an expression on their face which says "couldn't you have done something better in life?" But after a certain point of time you feel let the world think what it thinks. Seeing the way these kids are struggling, I feel if they are not guided the right way in their moulding age they will soon lose interest in studies and drop out of school. For those of you who do not know, 15% of kids in India never get to go to school, 50% of them drop out by 4th standard and 90% of them do not make it to standard 10! These numbers are shocking...I know it will take years of effort to flip them around. But for now I am so happy that I am a part of the solution bit of it even if it impacts only a few in the society. What is the use of education being the fundamental right of every Indian child when he does not have access to quality education just because he is poor! Till when are we going to wait for the world to be a better place on its own? I may be a drop in the ocean but like Helen Keller rightly said:
"I am only one but still I am one. I can't do everything but still I can do something; and because I can't do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do." :)

Flashback to why I am here...

I was in the so called world of I.T. for around 2.5 yrs...lived quite a comfortable life like many other I.T. people...but somewhere I always felt this hollowness inside...something that kept asking me why was I where I was and was I really happy with what I was going? The designation of a Team Leader did make me feel proud...They say if you give your 100% to any job you enjoy it...but for me, inspite of giving my 100% the satisfaction rarely touched my heart...at times I felt trapped at work...it was an endless rat race that was leading nowhere...and as if God heard and saw my restlessness that I happened to see the "Teach for India" add in the newspaper...and the moment I saw its website (www.teachforindia.org) I knew I wanted to be a part of the movement...I applied immediately along with 4000 other applicants...I was surprised to know there were 4000 other young professionals who wanted to change the way India looks, who wanted to do something for educating the underprivileged...I was amongst the fortunate 150(3.75%) people who made it to TFI...my joy knew no bounds when I got an email that I was selected...I resigned from my job the very next hour that I saw this email which gave me a sky, which gave me wings to fly, which made me feel it was time that i soared high...